


Foolish and Selfish

by orangepinapple



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Highschool AU, Kind of cheesy, Past Abuse, Romance, just be careful, kind of tw?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-13 09:03:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4515942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangepinapple/pseuds/orangepinapple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lapis is sad and bullied, and Peridot tries to help while convincing herself she doesn't care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Grave of Tears

**Author's Note:**

> don't read if you're easily triggered, it gets kind of depressed-y  
> um yeah enjoy! tell me if i messed up?

It was bad enough to be claustrophobic, and being forced to hide in small spaces, but for the only place available be a closet? It was a personal slap to the face.  
_Keep calm,_ she thought, pulling her knees closer to her chest. _Breathe. Dealing with this is better than dealing with Jasper._ Although, with the way the walls were closing in-she was trapped she was trapped-maybe Jasper was a more manageable problem. At least she could breathe when Jasper found her. Most of the time.  
How did anyone ever manage to stay in places like this for any amount of time? Lapis swore she was going to burst, it was so cramped. Her legs were pulled up to her chest and her face felt hot and she was sure that she wasn’t even breathing and _you’re supposed to be able to breathe._ She sucked in breaths rapidly, attempting to gain any air she may have lost. She was imprisoned in this closet, forced in here by Jasper and her posse.  
“Lazuli? Come on, we just want to talk.”  
_We? She has friends with her. Oh shit oh shit oh **shit.**_  
Lapis was sixteen years old, and hiding in a closet (of all places, it just had to be a closet) from someone who was only half a month older than her. Though, to be fair, she was quite a bit bigger.  
“Come out, you blue haired freak!” A different voice… one Lapis recognized. Malachite. Lapis shivered in the janitorial closet, and the movement made her dizzy. She was trapped here-and she couldn’t get out. Not without falling into Jasper and Malachite’s waiting arms-or rather, fists.  
“But wait, you’ve already come out, haven’t you?” There were muffled sniggers, and Lapis winced at how close they were.  
If Lapis considered Jasper big…Malachite was even bigger. She had to be on steroids of some kind, for her to be as tall and as muscular as she was.  
“I don’t know about this guys,” that was a new voice. Who was it? Would whoever it was be able to convince the bullies to leave? Lapis doubted that. The only thing that would deter Jasper and Malachite from picking on their favorite victim was a teacher.  
Though, based on the sudden silence, maybe they’d at least moved on from this corridor. Lapis began to brighten, thinking herself free. But then- _what if they’re waiting for me to come out? What if they’re there, waiting to pounce?_ Her breath was coming harder, due to the stressful thoughts and the fact that she was still in this _damn closet!_  
After a moment of hesitation, Lapis uncurled from her fetal position, almost sure they were gone. If they weren’t, surely they would have done something by now?  
She shouldn’t have thought that, for the moment the thought crossed her mind, the door swung open, the sudden light blinding her. Even if she couldn’t see (she’d squeezed her eyes shut, anticipating a blow) she could still hear Jasper remarking snidely to her companions “Hiding in the closet! Ironic, huh?”  
Lapis gritted her teeth, wishing she had the courage to fight back, to yell, anything, but all she did was squeeze her eyes tighter as Jasper grasped her wrist and pulled her from the closet. She turned her head away, eyes still closed, expecting a punch, but instead she was released from Jasper’s grip.  
She open her eyes to see a teacher heading their way. She exhaled slightly, scooting away from Jasper and her cronies, Malachite, Sugilite, and the other one, the one who seemed reluctant. She was small, compared to the others, her hair pulled into a pointy bun on top her head, and with her glasses, she looked, well, like a nerd. Certainly, not someone Jasper would hang out with. She-whoever she was-caught Lapis staring and stared right back.  
“Hello girls,” the teacher was here. Lapis looked at her and saw happily that it was Sapphire, possibly one of her favorite teachers. “Is all well?”  
“Yes,” Jasper said, and Sugilite and Malachite nodded. The pointy-bun girl just stood there.  
“Lapis?” Sapphire asked, looking at Lapis through her bangs.  
Lapis knew Mrs. Sapphire wasn’t an idiot, she knew what was going on. But without any evidence, she couldn’t do anything. “Yes, ma’am. Everything’s fine.  
Mrs. Sapphire nodded and made a shooing gesture with her hands. “Go on then.” Lapis turned and left quickly, ignoring the look both Sapphire and pointy-bun gave her.  
Lapis successfully made it to her dorm room, glad that her roommate was always gone. She sunk into her bed, closing her eyes and trying to calm her breathing. She was lucky, she got out of what Jasper would have done. Nothing too serious, it never was. But still, it was humiliating to be assaulted like that, and to never fight back.  
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to fight back. Sometimes she wanted to be able to defend herself, but it always seemed useless. They’d always get her back, somehow, and all it would do is make her life miserable. It wasn’t too bad, taking their insults, and their fists, because it only happened every once in a while-at least, the physical part of it. They insulted her whenever they had the chance. She was used to that part though, she’d gotten it everywhere else. Why should this place be any different?  
_Because it’s a private school. They’re supposed to be different. That’s why you came here._  
Lapis shook her head. “No, it’s not,” she said aloud, in a whisper. Besides, it was good that she had to deal with all of that. It kept her on edge, so she’d never be surprised. That was good.  
Of course, she did kind of deserve the insults, and even the hurt. She deserved it.  
_No,_ part of her whispered. _I don’t deserve it. I’m simply being who I am._  
That voice always tried to convince her she wasn’t a complete failure, that it didn’t matter what everyone said, and that she was a good person who had nothing to be ashamed of. But that voice was wrong, and it was too quiet to hear anyways. It was nothing. Just like her.  
Lapis felt herself falling, knew that she needed to get out of this, and knew that maybe if she just tried she could muster a smile, could stop being so pathetic and maybe even do something she enjoyed. But she couldn’t. It was impossible to climb out of this hole she’d dug. It was her own grave, she thought grimly, a grave that she’d dug, and a grave that she was drowning in, filling it with water from her own tears of despair.  
But it didn’t really matter if she drowned in her own grave of tears, because who would care? No one would, not even Lapis herself, and it would always be that way. It always had been that way. Even when she was little, no one cared, and as she grew it only worsened. No one ever gave thought to the small girl who dyed her hair blue, because she was a clumsy, foolish girl, born on accident and raised by a woman almost as foolish as the girl herself. No one would ever care if she disappeared. No one would ever even think to find out why or how she’d disappeared, and that would be the end. No one would even remember the Foolish Blue Haired Girl. It was always like that.  
Why would it ever change?


	2. Emotions Fail

It was a horrible thing to do to someone.   
Peridot had, of course, seen bullying before, but never like that. All the other girls had done was look at the blue haired one-Lapis- and she’d took the nearest escape route. It made Peridot wonder… how long had Lapis had to deal with this?  
And she’d participated! Peridot had always been in the background, and when she got a letter accepting her transfer to the school (Crystal Gems Academy was the best place to go) she’d planned to step it up, be out and proud, so to speak. But seeing the way they treated Lapis made Peridot almost glad she hadn’t fully told anyone her sexuality. What they did to Lapis was horrible. _And I helped._  
Honestly, she hadn’t done much. She’d even protested to the whole thing. But she still didn’t tell the teacher that not ‘all was well’. She should have. She didn’t understand why Lapis hadn’t. She had an opportunity. The teacher would have believed her. Why didn’t she say something?   
Peridot shook her head. It didn’t matter. She didn’t know Lapis, and there was no point in worrying about it. She just needed a distraction. She did have some homework she needed to work on… she began to look over her homework, sighing as she saw she had done most of it already. Maybe it was about time to go and check out the town, she hadn’t really had the opportunity.   
Peridot got up out of bed and grabbed shoes and a sweater, wondering where she’d go. There was a donut place she’d heard a lot about. Though it was so popular she might run into a few people. Maybe she’d just walked around.   
That sounded like a good plan, Peridot thought. She could go and walk around for a bit, maybe find an out of the way place where she could get dinner of some kind. And then she could come home and do last minute editing on her homework. Peridot nodded, satisfied with having an easy-to-follow plan. Nothing could go wrong if she had a plan.   
Less than thirty minutes later she’d decided that a lot could go wrong. Not only was she sitting at the Big Donut, but she was seated in between Malachite and Jasper, Sugilite sitting right in front of her. She’d managed to successfully tone out what they were saying, (something about sports) when her name was mentioned. “-can you believe she managed to get away, Peri?”  
Peridot nodded, not sure what they were talking about. But she couldn’t exactly tell them that. For now she was their friend, and they wouldn’t bully her, but she had a feeling that’d change as soon as she showed how much she was regretting joining Jasper’s lab table in chemistry class.   
They moved on to sports again, and Peridot, while keeping an ear on the conversation in case they mentioned her, tried to think what she could have done that maybe would have meant she wouldn’t be here. 

The obvious answer was not come to this school.   
_“I got in! I got in!” Peridot squealed, clutching the letter to her chest. Normally she wouldn’t be so open about her excitement, but how could she not express it now? She’d just gotten into a school far away from this lame town, and she could study so many things. The high school had collage classes! Peridot, her face set in an abnormal smile, went to go inform her foster family._  
But could she really have dealt with living in that stupid town full of stupid clods? She didn’t really think so. Maybe if she had decided to choose a different lab table. There were several other empty tables.   
_“May I sit here?” Peridot asked, gesturing to the spot next to the girl with long almost-white hair.  
“Sure thing,” she said, looking Peridot up and down. “I’m Jasper. You are?”  
Peridot had no choice but to give her name.   
“You good at chem?” Jasper asked.  
Peridot nodded, and Jasper grinned. “Great.”_  
Now that she thought about it, it was obvious that Jasper only wanted help with her schoolwork. That would mean that as soon as Jasper was done using Peridot she’d probably drop her and she’d be just another nerd to pick on. Peridot resigned herself to that fate without great difficulty. Being bullied by these girls would suck, but unlike Lapis, she would not just put up with it. She’d tell someone.   
“Oh, hey guys, I’ve got to go,” Peridot said, sounding what she hoped was apologetic.   
“Sure thing, Peri,” Jasper said, moving out of Peridot’s way. “See you in Chemistry.”   
“Right,” Peridot said, leaving as fast as she could. She’d gotten herself into quite a mess, hadn’t she? There was no way around it. She managed to escape out of the Big Donut, and was just about to head towards her dorm when she ran head on into someone.   
“Omph! Sorry, sorry,” the girl said. Peridot blinked. _Lapis._ “Oh!” Lapis was staring at her, and she took a step back nervously. “You-you with Jasper.”  
“If you were headed to the Big Donut, don’t. They’re in there.”   
Lapis looked at her with wide eyes.  
“I’m Peridot,” she said, surprising herself. She needed to just go, but she’d already started, and she felt as though she had to apologize for what the others did. “I’m sorry, for what happened earlier. I know I didn’t do much, but that’s kind of the point, I didn’t try so hard to stop it. And I should have. I’m really sorry. I swear I didn’t know what was going on till it was happening. I should have told the teacher-“  
“No!” Lapis looked terrified at the prospect. “No, no, it’s okay! Telling-telling won’t fix the problem. It’s good. You’re good. Um. Bye.”  
Peridot stared after her for a moment. “Wait!” She ran after Lapis. “Telling doesn’t fix it? Are you kidding? Not doing anything about it doesn’t do anything either!”  
Lapis winced as though Peridot had actually slapped her. “Please stay out of this. It’s not your business.”  
Peridot frowned. “I don’t understand. Why-you know what? Never mind. You’re right. It’s not my business, so I’ll leave you alone. Goodbye, Lapis.”  
Peridot walked away, shaking her head. She was supposed to be good at blocking her emotions. That was what everyone always said. She didn’t ever bother with caring, she did what got the most results. Still, the way Jasper treated Lapis-and several other people, come to think of it-it wasn’t something she could just ignore.   
_Yes, you can,_ she thought, _you can ignore it, and you will, because it’s what’s in your best interests. Lapis isn’t your concern, and right now your only problems are the homework you need to fix, and the fact that Jasper is going to turn on you. That’s all. Don’t think about Lapis, because you’ll start to care and caring is not important. Emotions don’t work out. Emotions fail._  
Because that’s who she is. She’s the girl who only cares for herself, and it’d stay that way. How else would she ever accomplish anything? Emotions confuse people, facts don’t. So no, Peridot was not going to fret over Lapis. If she wanted to get bullied then she could. It’s not Peridot’s issue. She was the Selfish Pointy Haired Girl, and it’d stay that way.  
It was safer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was this longer? I'm trying to work on this fic so it doesn't fade into the 'uncompleted fanfics'.  
> If you see any issues, please point them out, and I'll do my best to fix it!


	3. A Risk

Lapis knew she was failing. How could she not? She didn’t understand half of the lessons, and sometimes she wondered how she got into this school. Logically, she knew it was because she was an amazing swimmer, and that her swimming scholarship was what was keeping her here. But she never focused on that. She only thought about how she was failing, and soon they’d send her home and she’d have to deal with everyone in that stupid town and she’d be alone in her room again with no way of fighting back because that was pointless.   
Lapis pinched herself. Pay attention, she thought furiously. You still have at least a chance if you focus!  
She pulled herself back into the present to find…that everyone was picking up their stuff. Class was over? She started pick up her things, sighing as she acknowledged that her plan failed. So much for fixing the problem. But she already knew she couldn’t fix the problem. She was bad at school, or at least keeping hold of the information she learned in school.   
Just as she was about to leave, her teacher stopped her.   
Great.   
“Lapis,” Mrs. Quartz said. “I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit…lacking in your studies of late.”  
Lapis nodded, her head down. She’d just go along with whatever the teacher had to say and then she’d bolt. She liked Mrs. Quartz well enough, she was just … overbearing.   
“I’ve decided you need a tutor,” there was a smile on Mrs. Quartz’s face as she continued, "and so I asked my, er, more talented students, and one of them volunteered to help you!"  
"You what?" Lapis asked, shocked. A tutor? Oh god. She'd have to interact with the person.   
"Got you a tutor, sweetie!" Mrs. Quartz seemed to not have noticed Lapis's growing panic. What if she did something stupid? What if the tutor was someone like Jasper? Who'd mock her for being lesbian? Or-  
Lapis wasn't going to think about that.  
"You're supposed to meet with her on in the library every day after four," Mrs. Quartz said. "She'll be waiting for you."  
"Four...that's now," Lapis muttered.   
"Oh gosh! It is. You'd better hurry, Lapis. I can't wait to see you're improvement!"  
Lapis escaped as fast as she could. She didn't even have time to prepare. What if the girl didn't really want to tutor her? Who would anyways? The girl must not know it was Lapis she was tutoring. That was the only reason she was doing this. Lapis's reputation for never fighting back and getting bad grades was well-known. The girl would take one look at her, with her crappily dyed hair and her modest clothes and she'd change her mind about tutoring Lapis.  
And Lapis would go on failing her classes.  
Lapis walked into the library, fully prepared for her tutor to turn her down, and leave.   
Instead she found Peridot waving at her. Lapis paled. Peridot was her tutor?   
Lapis walked forwards slowly. She'd avoided thinking about Peridot since she ran into her a few days ago. She didn't want to think about Peridot, mainly because if she did, she'd start to think about how genuinely Peridot seemed to care, and how she actually really did look nice. But since she didn't think about Peridot at all these past few days, she did not notice when Peridot waved her over, and licked her lips before started to talk in her raspy voice. She only noticed what Peridot said, not the way her voice sounded as she said it. "Hello, Lapis. I'm sure you know I'm tutoring you, so we can just get right down to business. Which would you say is your worst subject?"  
"You-" Lapis stared at her. She wasn't going to mention the fact that the last time they talked, Lapis had practically yelled at her?   
"Oh, right, you probably don't have all your things," Peridot frowned. "That could be difficult. Hmm. One moment."  
She frowned at the table she was seated at, tracing something into the wood. "What are you..?" Lapis asked, confused.  
"Trying to rearrange my plans," Peridot mumbled, pausing for barely a moment in her tracing.   
"I-" Lapis shook her head.   
Peridot finally looked up. "Are you-?"  
"I'm fine!" Lapis said loudly, "I'm fine, okay?"  
"I was just going to ask you if you were ever going to sit down," Peridot said with a shrug.   
"I...oh." She reluctantly sank into a chair opposite Peridot. She watched as Peridot continued to trace her plans, sticking her tongue out in thought. Lapis smiled a bit. Peridot was really cute.  
"Okay!" Peridot said, grabbing her bag and pulling out a few sheets of paper. “What class did you just get out of?"  
"Um...history."  
"Okay...how many classes do you have, total?"  
"Um," Lapis counted quickly. "Eight. But I don't need tutoring in two of them."  
"What are the ones you do need tutoring in?" Peridot asked, jotting them down on her piece of paper as Lapis listed them.   
"Okay. What's your class schedule?"   
"What? Why do you need to know all this?" Lapis looked at Peridot suspiciously, there was something going on, she could just tell. "Does this have something to do with Jasper? She wants my class schedule, doesn't she? Oh, god."  
"No!" Peridot tugged on the strands of her that had come out from her bun, then muttered, "I knew this was a bad idea."  
"What does _ **that**_ mean?!" Lapis was starting to get a bit hysterical. "She does want my schedule! Oh, my god. I'm dead."  
"No!" Peridot shook her head. "Do you really think she'd do something like that? She may be a bully, but she's not nearly that bad."  
"You don't understand," Lapis whispered. "She _hates_ me."  
"Why?" Peridot asked.   
"I-" Lapis shook her head. "Are you going to tutor me or not?"  
"Yeah," Peridot said, a funny look on her face. "Yeah, okay. We'll do history first. But just so you know, I wouldn't do something like that. I really don't agree at all with what Jasper's doing."  
 _She could be lying,_ Lapis thought. But she didn't think so. It wasn't that big of a risk, was it? She'd been handling Jasper for a while, and the situation couldn't get a lot worse.   
"Okay," Lapis said. "I-I believe you."  
It was a risk, she knew, but one she was willing to take.  
She didn't bring up Jasper again.

Lapis hated her roommate. Well, maybe not hate, but she really made Lapis uncomfortable.   
She always had her stupid girlfriend over, and she always made a mess of the kitchen and bathroom they shared. It wasn't even that big of a deal, really. She's out most of the time, but when she is there, she always lounged on the couch with a bag of chips or something, and attempting to make friends with Lapis.   
"Hey Lapis!" Amethyst called. "Want to hang out?"   
"No thanks," Lapis said, edging towards her room.   
"Aw, come on! There's a nice fish documentary on. You like fish, right?"  
"Actually," Lapis said, thinking fast. "I just forgot. I have, a, um, thing. Bye!"  
She turned around and left her dorm, walking fast towards the nearest way off campus.   
It happened before she could blink. She bumped into someone, tried to say 'sorry!' but whoever it was grabbed her and pulled her to the side, into a room. A closet actually.   
Oh god, oh god, what just happened, who just grabbed me, why did they drag me into a closet, and why can I breathe?  
"Shh!" the person who had grabbed her whispered. "I'm sorry, Lapis, but Jasper was right behind me, and she's in a nasty mood, I didn't really think you wanted to be in her line of sight." Peridot.   
Peridot had dragged her into a closet. She couldn't breathe.   
She felt Peridot move, and then the door opened. Lapis jumped out immediately.   
"Sorry," Peridot said again, peeking down both hallways. "I didn't know what else to do...are you okay?"  
Lapis was taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself. "I can't-I don't- I don't like tight spaces."  
"Oh," Peridot said. "Sorry."  
Lapis nodded, still taking in great gulping breaths.   
"Where are you headed anyways? It's almost nine." Peridot moved as though she were about to come closer, and then stopped.  
"I-needed some fresh air," Lapis said. "My roommate’s a bit-"  
"Ah," Peridot said. "Do you mind if I join you? My roommate isn't exactly my kind of person either."  
"Oh," Lapis mumbled. "Yeah, I guess."  
She started to walk away, wondering where she was going. After a moment of hesitation, she turned to face Peridot, walking backwards across a path she knew by heart. "You can't tell anyone about this, okay?"  
"Tell them what? That I'm hanging out with you, or that you're claustrophobic?"   
"Um, all of the above," Lapis said. "But also what we're about to do."  
"What?" Peridot had a funny kind of look on her face, and was that a blush? It was hard to tell in the semi-darkness.  
Lapis stopped walking backwards and turned around, just as they reached their destination.   
Peridot was looking at the building in confusion. "Isn't this the pool house or whatever?"  
"Yep," Lapis said.  
"Isn't it locked after five?"  
"Yep," Lapis said, pulling a few bobby pins out of her hair, causing it to whip about her face in the wind. "But it's a crappy lock."  
"You-you're going to pick lock it?"  
"No," Lapis said, pulling the now unlocked door open. "I already have."  
Peridot followed her into the pool house cautiously. "Where'd you learn to do that?"  
Lapis turned to look at her, frowning. "I-"  
She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. All that matters is that I can, yeah?"  
"I guess."  
Lapis sat down next to the pool. "They never bother to cover it up because its inside like this, and since I always lock the door behind me, they don't think anyone sneaks in."  
She took her shoes off, and submersed her feet in the water. She wriggled her toes around, watching her petite feet. She'd rather she didn't know how to picklock things. But when you grow up being locked into rooms, you had to learn how to get out somehow, right? Lapis curled her toes.   
"Lapis?"  
Lapis looked up at Peridot, who had taken a seat next to her. "Yeah?"  
"I just-I'd like to be friends, I think." Peridot was looking at the water. "I know Jasper acts like I'm friends with her, but I really don't like being with her at all. And anyways, she's only using me for homework help. After that, I'm gone. So I think, if I could-I don't know, just, I'd rather I'd sat down next to someone like than someone like Jasper."  
Lapis blinked. "But-"  
"But?" Peridot said, turning to look at her. "You don't want a friend?"  
"I do," Lapis said. "But I shouldn't."  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
Lapis looked back at the water.  
 _It means I should know better than to want friendship by now. I wanted to be friends with Jasper, and look how that turned out._  
Lapis shrugged.  
"Okay," Peridot said. "I'm taking that as a 'yes'."  
Lapis smiled a little, and then paused. When was the last time she'd genuinely smiled?  
She didn't think she could remember. Maybe she could be friends. Peridot was so different from Jasper. What was the worst that could happen?  
Knowing Lapis's life, a lot.  
But maybe a risk was in order? Lapis bit her lip, considering.  
"Okay," Lapis said. "We can be friends."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ta da! as always, mention any mistakes and I'll fix them as soon as possible. Thank you for reading!


	4. No Matter What

Peridot flopped down on the floor next to Lapis. "What are you watching?"   
"Well, Amethyst is out with Pearl, so I've got the T.V, and I can watch my shows now," Lapis said, frowning at the T.V remote. "I haven't decided what those are yet though."  
Peridot laughed a bit. "What do you mean, you haven't decided?"  
"I've never really had a T.V before," Lapis said.   
"You're kidding," Peridot said, looking at her new friend.   
"No." Lapis had that look on her face, the one where her lips went thin and her eyes unfocused, the one Peridot knew meant to drop it.   
"Well, I'll pick then," and without hesitation, she grabbed the remote and flipped through channels until she found a crime show to settle on.   
After about ten minutes of the two leads discussing a murder in detail, Lapis grabbed the remote. "This is horrible. Who wants to watch a show about death?" She changed the channel, and finally settled on a documentary about the ocean or something. Peridot sighed but gave in. She didn't mind documentaries. And Lapis looked like she was enjoying herself.   
While Lapis was engrossed in her show, Peridot studied her. They'd been doing this for about a month now. Just hanging out. Peridot kept telling herself it was just so she could figure out why Lapis acted the way she did. Why she seemed adamant about not telling teachers, how she could just shrug off the insults she received in the hallways. It was just curiosity. It most certainly _wasn't_ the way Lapis insisted that she only ate her weird diet food, but always ended up eating something from Peridot's lunch. It wasn't how Lapis's head tilted to the side when she thought, or how she bit her upper lip when she was nervous, or even the way she was always was messing with her hair, as though it wasn't perfect already. It was just because she was curious.   
"Heyo, Lapis!" With the bang of the door, Lapis's roommate entered. She plopped on the couch, looking at the T.V. "P, look, it's that documentary I was telling you about!"  
Amethyst’s girlfriend, Pearl, sat down on the couch delicately next to Amethyst. "Hello, Lapis."  
"Hi," Lapis muttered, standing up. "I'll be right back."  
She left to her room, leaving Peridot alone with the other girls.   
"So," Pearl said. "Peridot, right?"  
"Yeah."  
Amethyst looked towards Lapis's room, where the door was still shut tightly. "Hey, Peridot, I don't really know what's going on between you and Lapis, but if you hurt her or anything-"  
"What?" Peridot stood up, looking at Amethyst in shock.   
"I've seen you hanging out with that bitch-"  
"Amethyst!" Pearl admonished.   
"Sorry, P. I've seen you hanging out with Jasper. I know what a b-butt! I was going to say butt, Pearl! She's horrible to Lapis, and if you're just messing with Lapis to be funny, I suggest you stop."  
"I-no!" Peridot crossed her arms and looked at Amethyst, turning her anger at the idea of hurting Lapis into a mask of indifference. "Do you think I like how she treats Lapis? I've tried to get Lapis to get help, but-"  
Lapis came out of her room. She had her purse and a jacket, and looked at Peridot. "Um, I was gonna-"  
"I'll come with you," Peridot said, turning away from Amethyst. She and Lapis walked out the door, and Lapis began to walk towards the pool house. "Why did Amethyst look like that?"  
"Like what?" Peridot asked.   
"As though she'd just had another fight with Pearl," Lapis said, looking at Peridot. "Except she was looking at you."  
"She-" Peridot searched for the words. "She thought I was on Jasper's side. That I was going to end up bullying you somehow."  
Lapis nodded, and they reached the pool house. It was unlocked, and they walked in.   
"I'll be right back," Lapis said, walking over to the changing rooms. _Ah,_ Peridot thought. _I thought her purse looked a bit stuffed. She must have her swimsuit inside._  
Lapis came back out shortly after, dressed in a one piece swimming suit. She didn't hesitate to run, and then jump into the still water, effectively splashing Peridot.   
"Lapis!" Peridot shrieked, looking down at her white shirt, which was now see through. Peridot crossed her arms over her chest self-consciously.   
Still in the pool, the other girl noticed Peridot's see through shirt and spun around, facing the other side of the pool. "Shit! S-sorry!"  
"It's okay," Peridot said, looking around for a towel or some other material to cover up with.  
"You can wear my jacket. It's over there," Lapis pointed, not turning around. Peridot found her jacket and pulled it on, glad for something that covered her.   
She would have ignored the fact that she was wearing Lapis's jacket, and that it smelled like Lapis, except to ignore something you had to notice it, and Peridot did not notice. At all.  
She sat down at the edge of the pool, watching Lapis as she bobbed in the water, facing away from Peridot. She was just about to open her mouth and say she could turn around when she noticed something on Lapis's back. It looked like...a scar of some kind. It was horribly jagged though, and it was on the small of her back. How had she gotten it?  
"What's that on your back?" When in doubt, blurt out the question.  
"What?" Lapis spun around, facing Peridot, hiding her back.  
"There's like a-scar. Where'd you get it?"  
"I-it doesn't matter," Lapis had the Look on her face again.  
"Was it Jasper?" Peridot asked suddenly, standing up.   
Lapis started to climb out of the pool, not answering. As she reached her things and wrapped a towel over her shoulders, Peridot marched over. "Was. It. Jasper?"  
"No!" Lapis said, pulling the towel tight around her.  
"Then who was it?"  
"None of your business!"   
"I'm your friend, of course it's my business if someone did-did _that_ to you!"  
Lapis turned to walk away, but Peridot grabbed her by the elbow and spun her around. "Lapis! Just tell me what happened!"  
Lapis looked at her with wide eyes, and Peridot dropped her elbow quickly. "I'm sorry. God, that was stupid of me. I'm sorry, Lapis."  
Peridot watched fearfully as Lapis took a step backwards. "I-"  
"I'll drop it," Peridot found herself promising, even though she just wanted to know how Lapis had gotten that scar.  
"I-"  
"I swear. I'm sorry, it's not of my business, you're right."  
"I-"  
"I'll forget it ever happened. I'll-"  
"Peridot!" Lapis said loudly. "It's fine. As long as you don't bring it up again, it's okay."   
"Okay," Peridot said.

They didn't stay long after that. It was weird and awkward, and Peridot finally suggested they go back to their dorms, and Lapis agreed. It was only when Peridot was in her room, away from her roommate, did she realize she still had Lapis' sweater. She took it off and folded it, setting it down on the edge of her bed, feeling suddenly cold without it.   
"That's because your shirt is wet, idiot," Peridot said to herself, taking her shirt off and looking around for a clean one. Once she found one, she put it on, and crawled into bed. It was pretty late, after all.   
Except she couldn't fall asleep. She kept thinking about Lapis, and how she looked when she was swimming in the water. She'd been quite...graceful.  
And beautiful.  
 _No. You can't think about that. It's not good. You're thinking with your feelings, not with your mind. Facts, Peridot. Facts. Feelings can't be trusted._  
It were as if she were made for the water. She'd jumped in without hesitation, and she'd been smiling, up until Peridot's shirt had gotten soaked. Lapis didn't really seem to smile a lot, Peridot noticed. It was a shame, because she had a really nice smile. Peridot rolled over on her bed, forcing herself to think of something else. Like...  
She couldn't think of anything.  
Or, she could. It was just that all the other things to think about didn't seem as important as Lapis.  
Fine, Peridot thought. She'd think about Lapis, so after a while, it'd be boring, and she could fall asleep.  
So Peridot did think about Lapis. A lot. She thought about how soft Lapis's hair looked, and if it'd be weird if she touched it. Then she pushed that thought away, because _no_. There was no way she was going to develop a crush on Lapis. Lapis needed a friend, not a relationship.  
So she searched for something else to think of. And somehow found herself thinking about Lapis' lips. And how they might feel against her own...  
"Damn it!" Peridot sat up, and got up out of bed. She wasn't going to lie there and fantasize about Lapis. She'd do something until she was tired enough to not think about Lapis like that. Because she was not going to think like that at all. She didn't want to. It'd just bring pain.  
So she got up and started to sift through her things, looking for something to do. She finally found a science book full of experiments she'd bought a while ago, and started to look around for her box of things, in which was most of what she'd need for the experiments.  
Having the distraction helped. She was dealing with science experiments, it wasn't exactly as though she could afford to be distracted, so she continued performing experiments till she felt she was tired enough.

Unfortunately, her mind kept wandering around to Lapis again, so she kept getting up and messing about again. The end result was her still being up by six A.M, and not wanting to go to classes at all. _I'll skip today._ After a moment of consideration, she decided it was a good idea. She lied down on her bed and fell asleep at once, not thinking about Lapis this time.  
When she woke up, it was almost four. School was over.  
She sighed contently, and rolled over, happy with where she was.   
She might just stay here all day. There wasn't anything she had to do.   
Peridot sat bolt upright. "Oh!" She was tutoring Lapis today at three-thirty. Twenty minutes ago.  
"Shit," Peridot got up and started to jog towards the library, not bothering to change or anything. She wasn't too surprised to find that Lapis wasn't in the library, but she still cursed under her breath, turning and walking away, trying to think of where she might be. The pool? Just as Peridot was about to head over there, she heard Jasper's voice.  
"I bet that's the only reason you came to this school. Just to look at all the other girls' asses, huh?"  
There was sniggers from others, probably Sugilite and Malachite.   
"I bet that's why you need a tutor so bad, huh? Because you're so busy daydreaming about your classmates!"  
Peridot rounded the corner to see Jasper had Lapis in a corner. Lapis was sitting on the floor, curled up, and Jasper was standing over her laughing and making snide remarks, accompanying them with a kick or other form of physical pain. Peridot thought fast. What could she say to get them off Lapis without them turning on her? She thought back to that first time she'd seen Jasper bullying Lapis and smiled.   
She cleared her throat, stepping forward. They all turned, except Lapis, who stayed in her position. "I just saw a teacher. She's coming this way, and you guys aren't exactly being quiet."   
The bigger girls glanced at each other, and began to walk away. "Thanks, Peri!" Jasper called over her shoulder.  
As soon as they were gone, Peridot kneeled next to Lapis. "Are you okay?"  
Lapis nodded, straightening herself. She was crying, and she had a black eye. Without thinking, Peridot reached up to touch it. Lapis flinched away, and Peridot dropped her arm to her side. "You sure?"  
"I'm fine," Lapis said, standing up, and wiping at her face.   
"I'm sorry I wasn't at the library, I slept in."  
Lapis didn't seem to acknowledge the fact that Peridot had slept in until after three, and just stood there, looking strangely disconnected. Peridot wasn't sure why, but the look in Lapis' eyes was freaking her out.   
"We should tell somebody," she said, desperate. "A teacher, someone."  
"No!" Lapis said. "It doesn't fix the problem."  
"You said that last time," Peridot said, frowning at Lapis. "What do you mean? They'd be expelled, and then you wouldn't have to deal with them anymore."  
"Because they're not the only ones who think like that, Peridot!" Lapis almost shouted, tears streaming down her face. "There're other people who look at me and see someone to pick on." Her voice was practically a whisper now, but it still held all that quiet anger. "Jasper isn't the first person who's given me a black eye, and she won't be the last. I'm not going to go through life telling on every one who treats me bad. Life _is_ bad. I need to learn to deal with it."  
"Not like this!" Peridot said, stomping her foot, and then blushed, feeling childish. "Life is bad, but it shouldn't be! Life should be filled with happiness, and people you can count on, not bullies and people who abandon you!" Her voice cracked slightly, but she continued on. "If the world will ever become like that, we need to try and stop the people that do things like that. You can't go through life letting people beat you up. If you're not going to tell someone, at least _fight back_!”   
“Do you think I haven't tried that?" Lapis asked, the anger gone from her voice. "I've tried to fight back. I'm smaller, and all it does is give them more reasons to hurt me."  
Peridot didn't say anything, looking at Lapis uncertainly. Finally, she leaned forward and pulled Lapis into a hug. The other girl stiffened at first, but she relaxed and hugged Peridot back.   
"Let's get that cleaned up," Peridot said, stepping back and nodding at Lapis' eye.   
Lapis nodded and followed Peridot towards her dorm.  
It hadn’t fixed anything, Peridot knew, but she wasn’t going to let this keep happening. She was going to help Lapis, no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, there's a lot of fighting in this chapter, eh? Oh well. I've got this whole story figured out now, so I might post more frequently. Anyways, enjoy, and tell me if you see any mistakes!

**Author's Note:**

> i just realized this is very short im sorry the next chapter should be a bit longer


End file.
